Bereavement
Tips for Dealing with Grief
Dealing with grief
Bereavement impacts every facet of our lives. These are a few important
matters to consider. Each person is different, so beware of ready made
solutions. The following are suggestions to consider - they may or may
not fit your situation.
Psychological
Everyone needs some help - don't be afraid to accept it.
While you may feel pressured to put on a brave front, it is important
to make your needs known by expressing your feelings to those you trust.
Often numbness sees us through the first few days or weeks. Don't be too
surprised if a letdown comes later.
Many people are more emotionally upset during bereavement than at any
other time in their lives and are frightened by this. Be aware that severe
upset is not unusual and if you are alarmed, seek a professional opinion.
Whether you feel you need to be alone or accompanied - make it known.
Needing company is common and does not mean you will always be dependent
on it.
There is no set time limit for grieving. It varies from person to person,
depending on individual circumstances.
Physical
It is easy to neglect yourself because you don't much care about anything.
You are under great stress and may be more susceptible to disease.
If you have symptoms, get a doctor to check them out.
Try to eat reasonably even if there is no enjoyment in it.
Although sleep may be disturbed, try to get adequate rest.
Social
Friends and family are often most available early in bereavement and less
so later. It is important to be able to reach out to them when you need
them. Don't wait for them to guess your needs.
During a period of grief it can be difficult to judge new relationships.
Don't be afraid of them, yet it is usually wise not to rush into them.
Someone who is not too close to you but who is willing to listen may be
particularly helpful.
No one will substitute for your loss. Try to enjoy people as they are.
Do not avoid social contacts because of the imperfections in those you
meet.
Sometimes, in an effort to stop the pain of grief, people turn towards
replacing the lost person (e.g. adoption of a child, remarriage) too soon.
It is hard, though, to see new relationships objectively if you are still
actively grieving, and this kind of solution may only lead to other problems.
Economic
Avoid hasty decisions. Try not to make major life decisions within the
first year unless absolutely necessary.
In general, most people find it best to remain settled in familiar surroundings
until they can consider their future calmly.
Don't be afraid to seek good advice. Usually it is wise to get more than
one opinion before making decisions.
Don't make any major financial decisions without talking them over with
experts.
Having a job or doing volunteer work in the community can be helpful when
you are ready but it is important not to overextend yourself.
A job will not fulfill all your needs. Relationships with family and friends
are crucial.
Spiritual
Personal faith is frequently a major source of comfort during bereavement.
For some, however, maintaining faith may be difficult during this period
of loss.
Either reaction may occur, and both are consistent with later spiritual
growth.